Lies have become ubiquitous in public life since the American election. We watch the American president constantly spinning lies, lies that are easily fact checked and disproven. We watch his abandoning of values of the Western world, casually discarding long held beliefs about human rights, freedoms, and solidarity in the face of unlawful expansionism, as if he is tossing out the garbage. Trump pardons criminals with no discernment. And he is perverse in his appointments, deliberately picking the worst person for the job, his not-so-private joke, flouting standards of character, expertise, and lawfulness expected of public figures with authority and power. He shows disrespect and casual cruelty to those enduring brutal wars, those on the “wrong” side, in his estimation, the Palestinian and Ukrainian people. And of course, he shows no respect for Canada, routinely belittling our nation, and questioning our right to sovereignty.

Trump’s followers, like the Emperor’s, in service of their own ambition, wealth, power, who knows what else, join him in the lies. It is a massive brainwashing endeavour, and gaslighting of extraordinary proportions. (It is also a fascinating and frightening study of human behaviour.) His supporters and sycophants can be seen standing behind him, smiling, nodding, and agreeing with the delusions and untruths. It is an astounding abandonment of integrity (it may be reasonable to say integrity was not part of the original package) on repeated display. How are they able to do that? Their complicity is unsettling, bizarre and cultish.

I have always admired those that speak truth to power. Sometimes, people cannot directly confront; this is a luxury they cannot afford. They need to survive, have physical needs met, or they do not want to be psychologically disconnected from their family. We shut up with the abusive boss, the misogynistic supervisor, because we all need a paycheck. We go along to get along with the family patriarch, the family members who have such opposing views, because, well, we have too much to lose. They are our people, for better or for worse. Or we take a more subversive or indirect path of resistance. We change the subject; we limit the time with them, we use humour to change the tone. We need to take the action that is right for us, while also thinking about who is going to be hurt by this lie, even in the form of expressions, or stereotypes. What are you going to feel if you do not confront the lie? Shame? Regret? I have felt both. Can we do better next time? In these lying times, truth has become so very fragile, and precious.

In the USA, journalists, artists, and other everyday people have mobilized to protest. One example is #50501, which stands for fifty protests in fifty states in one day. And the American commentators and comedians, talk show hosts, as well as our own commentators and comedians, have been brilliant. It helps to acknowledge the ridiculousness, the absurdity of the situation; how funny and brave these writers and comedians are! They are a balm for anxiety; they are good for us. Remembering to laugh is important. I sometimes point out to my clients that research has supported a sense of humour as an individual resiliency—a way to survive challenging circumstances.

And what about our kids? What are you modeling or showing the children in your life? They are listening, so talk to them about valuing truth. Tell them lying is still wrong. While some people cannot be trusted, most people are still trustworthy. Let them know we are as safe as we can be and we, the adults, will figure this out. Tell them the adults can handle this, and they can forget about it. Instead of talking about Trump, ask them if they want to play Uno.

And, as an adult, do not underestimate the effect of bad people being cheered and celebrated. You are not going crazy. On the contrary, if you are disturbed by what is happening, it is evidence of your decency. Take care of yourself; take comfort where you can. Watch for the everyday small joys, what we call “glimmers,” and remember these moments. Stay well. You are a good human, and we need you.

* Vladimir Lenin